I once was contacted by this guy who was looking for what I can only describe as a modern version of a Stepford Wife. His opening introduction was something to the point of the following:
I'm looking for an attractive woman who enjoys cooking, cleaning, and keeping herself looking pretty. Someone who desires to have a family and run the household. Also a woman who is successful, career driven and finds her sense of purpose in her work.
Yah, it didn't take much to read between these lines. I know he was talking about what he wanted in a woman, but what he probably didn't realize was everything he was saying about himself in this. Here is how this really should have read:
I am a pretty shallow person who is mostly into looks and appearances. My mommy did all the cleaning, laundry, and cooking for me growing up and I don't want to start now, so I'm looking for someone to step in and take her place because it's become to much of a pain to drive to her house. (Or this could also read "My parents finally realized I'm never going to move out of my own free will so they're finally kicking me out and I need someone to take mommy's place as my personal maid.)
I want to have kids but I don't want to do any of the work outside of making the babies. Don't expect me to wake up in the night with the kid, change diapers, or take any responsibility in parenting. Oh, especially in any way shape or form that resembles housework. Basically if you aren't home for a meal we're going to McDonald's or ordering pizza when I realize I'm hungry because I won't remember that children have to be fed.
It's important to me that you make a lot of money and that things are always "fair" in the way that we both have jobs and you don't get to have fun at home doing easy things like raising the children while I have to work. Although remember, I won't be doing anything around the house to even out that work load. I'll be to busy having my me time when I get home. Actually, I'm totally fine with you making more money than me and would be cool with being a stay at home husband. Not dad, remember, you are the one that enjoys parenting and housework, not me. The kids will still be in daycare.
Don't worry, while you're busy through the night and into the wee hours of early morning cleaning up the mess of the day I and the children have left behind while you had to work late on that major project that would define your career, I'll keep the bed warm for you. Because I'm just that great of a guy.
Could someone please explain to me where guys get off thinking every woman is just waiting to be at the beck and call of a man? That they desire to do nothing but serve them and bear their giant babies? In what alternate universe does that make sense?
I can see how looking for someone who enjoyed house work and going through the hell that is childbirth made sense... oh 100 years ago before the washing machine, dishwasher, and most homes were fitted with electricity. Also most importantly this was before the invention of BIRTH CONTROL. In that time housework was very different than it is today. Everything had to be done by hand and it look a lot longer. Also a lot of it had to be done during the daylight hours. However a lot of women didn't work outside the home at that time. And since there was no birth control, if you wanted to get laid regularly, well having kids was kind of an unavoidable side effect. So yes, there were very important qualities.
In today's world though women are expected to be out in the rat race we call the work force holding their own. You have to work just as hard as men, and in some cases harder because the guys don't take you seriously since you're a woman. (You know, assholes like the one above.) Working outside the home is just as difficult and stressful for a woman as it is for a man. So why the heck do guys think that they should get a free pass when they come home and leave all the housework to their wife who also just walked in the door from her stressful life outside the home?
Let me enlighten any guys out there who are confused on this subject: Most women would rather spend the rest of their lives single than be married to a man who can't pull his own weight and help out around the house and with the children. No woman comes home and thinks "Oh goody, I just finished dealing with a bunch of assholes at work and now I get come home and clean up after this asshole too!" Even more so no woman is ever going to think "Wow, my husband just sat his fat ass on the couch watching football as I cleaned the entire house. He is such an amazing man. I want him, I want him now."
If she is indeed smart and successful it won't take her more than one billionth of a second to realize that her life would be much better off without the man. If there was no man, she wouldn't have to come home and clean the house because it would still be clean since that is the way she left it that morning. If there was no man she wouldn't have to worry about what to make for dinner. She'd eat what ever she felt like when she felt like with no complaining. If there were no man, her house would smell like flowers or sugar and spice instead of occasional breezes of putrid sulfa as he passes gas from his throne in front of the TV.
Now you may be saying something like, yah, well if she had no man how would she get laid? Girls like sex too. Sure sure, that is true. But you know what... a smart woman realizes it's not difficult to find a man looking to get some when you want it. Just go to a bar in a short skirt and sit at the end of the bar. You'll get a couple offers. Or better yet- yet yourself a little self loving device. You know what I'm talking about. Cost: about $100. Reward: No STD's, no pregnancy scares, no complications.
Ok, so I hear you now. You're saying something about what if she wants to have kids. Again, a smart woman realizes that to have children without a lazy ass man is just one lazy ass less to have to take care of. If the baby daddy isn't going to pitch in to make things easier, isn't going to wake up at night, change diapers, clean the house, help with laundry, and do all of this not only to help with the baby but also for himself.... it's just better off he isn't there to be one more burden on you. A lazy husband will cost you mentally, physically and financially. A one night stand sperm donor will cost you... a little dignity.
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