Par for the course. I did mention my dating life is incredibly PATHETIC right?
So Monday I was supposed to meet this guy I have been chatting with online. You know that old saying if it seems too good to be true, it probably is? Yah, that was this guy. Everything about what we had communicated about seemed so spot on. I thought this guy had to be either freakishly like me or feeding me lines. I was inclined for the feeding me lines train of thought. But I figured let's meet the poor chap. If nothing else, when the date goes horribly tragic at least I'd have another great story to tell. I do so enjoy entertaining you with my misery. It is the one gleaming ray of hope in the misery that is my shriveled, dried up, dating life.
And to support how desperately lonesome my dating life is- Tuesday I got my hair cut by this very nice, but slightly tiny, Japanese guy. Recommended by a friend. Great recommendation but if you want to feel like a fat house the best way to do it that I've found is to go hang out with a bunch of Japanese people. Anyway, so this nice and tiny man started off my haircut with a scalp massage. And I realized this physical contact was the most that I have had with the male species in almost.... 2 YEARS!!!! Help! I need to get some! Please! Not that I was repressed enough this contact made me turned on, although it sure felt good. Just it was funny to realize that. And pathetic. Very, very pathetic.
So back to this guy I was suppose to meet Monday: Well, so the funny thing is I didn't even have to meet this one to have something to write about. He's provided that without me actually knowing him. Woo hoo! Stories without personal detriment.
About 2 hours before our arranged meet up (Coffee at a public place... no more dive bars for me) I got a text message he was sick and couldn't make it. Now it was very sunny and nice out this day, so my first thought was "yah, likely story" and he just had found something better to do. However he had this back story about thinking it was allergies and trying medicine, and he actually asked for a rain check in his sob story. So I figured I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and believe him. After all, he did seem too good to be true. Fine, maybe this was an instance of it's not being true. I responded back saying it was fine, to let me know when he was better, and I hoped he was feeling better soon. Then I sat back and waited to see how sincere he had been about the rain check. Ball is in your court buddy.
Well today (Wednesday) I got a text from him in the early afternoon wondering about meeting up tonight. I seriously contemplated telling him I was busy because I didn't want to come across as that easy. I have a life you know. However I decided that was just playing games, which are stupid, and that wanting to watch a TV show didn't constitute a conflict when my DVR still had room. So I consented. Then went about the rest of my day going "oh crap, oh crap, oh crap" and leaving work early to have a glass of wine before we would meet. It wasn't so much that I was excited. Just really nervous. I would say MAYBE, just maybe half excited. Possibly a little less. Actually more afraid. Is it weird to say I was actually worried it would work out? I've been in the mindset lately of having a guy sucking up my free time is not high on my list of "must haves". I like my me time.
Anyhoo... well, it happened AGAIN! SERIOUSLY???? Seriously? Yep... he canceled because he is SICK! Ok, I know I said this about other things but, Who Does That? He does. (50 Reasons, that's his nickname. Because his profile was "50 Reasons You Should Date Me". Actually one of the best profiles I've seen.) Maybe I should have been upset, annoyed, pissed. But I just started laughing. I mean, if you want to come up with the best ways to make a terrible first impression, this is definitely right up there on the top of the list. And if he wasn't so darn apologetic and self flagellating about it, I would write him off. When I told my mother it happened again she was quick to write back "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Which I had to admit was going through my mind when I got his message.
I've decided to give him ONE more chance though. I mean, unless he is the biggest dick in the entire wold, he isn't going to reschedule only to cancel again just to mess with me. He must have actually wanted to meet me. Unless he is pure evil. Which is possibly true. But how often do you run into people who are pure evil? 1 out of... 10? That's just 10%. So there is a 90% chance he is ok. I'll take the odds. Plus I am reminding myself that he is a guy. And most guys I know are GIANT babies when it comes be being sick. Like you think a little cold is the Ebola virus or something. God help us if the president should ever get sick. I mean, people say a woman can't be president because she'd be too emotional or moody, but look at a man when he's sick and try and picture THAT running this country. God help us all.
Admittedly though I am even less convinced he will reschedule at this point. I told him he had to reschedule if he had any hope of saving his reputation. We shall see. Perhaps he would be ok with going down in history as the guy with no follow through.
The funniest part of all is not my reaction but my mother and friends. They are reaming him up one side and down the other. It's pretty great. I'm just sitting back saying "well, at least I have something to write about". But my mother met my friend and I as we were out walking the other day and spent a good 5 minutes coming up with catch lines I should say back to him. Things like "Well you have your 50 reasons I should date you, but I'm building my 50 reasons on why I shouldn't! And here is #1." I guess today is #2. And I haven't even met the guy. Oh yes, he better be too good to be true. Already digging his hole.
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