What ever happened to trying to make a good first impression? Did I miss a memo here or something? Apparently it has become common to just publicly lay all the crazy out on the table.
Call me old fashion, but I was raised believing you should actually try and act... normal. That some things were meant for behind closed doors and you should put your best image forward upon first impression. If people become your friend and take the time to get to know you, it is inevitable that they will eventually figure out all your zany idiosyncrasies. But best to hide them for as long as possible.
I am really disheartened by the crop of fresh men out there I am finding. Since when did it become appropriate to publicly post pictures of yourself using large objects as a phallic symbol and flaunt your adolescent penile infatuation? Oh, please. I get a teenage boy's infatuation with his new found favorite appendage. For the first 11... 12 years of his life he didn't realize the potential this held. Suddenly his world has been opened up to a new realm of possibilities. Of course he has a natural curiosity. However this is why it is so important for proper role models and guidance to be provided to the young lad so that his natural curiosities don't develop into an unhealthy obsession.
By the age of 30, I would really expect him to have worn himself out of this. I'm shocked to find though that for some men... really, are they men? Grown boys... Peter Pan have you... they seem to never tire of their new best fried. (Who knew it was so close?) And still publicly flaunt their love and infatuation. And oh no, not just around other overly large boy-men. Again, that I might understand. Who knows how these male humans interact in the privacy of a testosterone filled gathering. Grunting, grabbing, scratching. Noises and smells that make my stomach turn and gauge reflex begin to initiate at just the mere thought of what may be. No no no... they don't save this behavior for among others of their kind. They must share it publicly in the delusion that females may actually be ATTRACTED to it!
Which all brings me to wonder... at what point did men decide that they no longer need to woo women? That this public infatuation, belching, farting, adjusting... was all appropriate for first impressions?
I recall stories my grandparents... and even my parent... have told me about their early days upon first meeting. I look at how they treated each other years later, when I was growing up and able to observe them... and I see a completely different style of behavior. A behavior that I want, I desire, and I wonder what has happened that we have gotten away from this? How did we get to where we are? Did men really go so off course, or is it that women have allowed themselves over time to settle for less?
My grandfather smoked. But my grandmother never knew it. He hid it from her by brushing his teeth and using cologne and mouth wash before every date. They were married before she ever found out. Not that I'm encouraging hiding things from people until you're married. My point is - smoking wasn't even illegal. But he didn't want to scare my grandmother off by admitting to doing something that wasn't all that desirable in a potential match. Now guys will tell you up front if the smoke pot and think you're the stiff one for not.
My grandma dated several guys at one time. That was normal. Unlike today, you dated around, got to know people. They all knew about each other. And while it was serious to some extent, it wasn't like today where expectations in the physical manner came with the date. You went out, had a good time, and if they guy impressed you and was a gentleman, he got a kiss. Just a kiss. But the guys were competitive. They tried to plan a better date than the other ones. They payed attention to special events to invite you to. They opened the door for you. Gave you their jacket. And they married you to keep the other guys from being able to steel you away. None of this lets live together for a couple of years so I can decide if you're good enough. Keep you on retainer while I shop around. Maybe not officially dating others, but you know, not making a commitment just in case.
My father still to this day asks my mother to go on dates in the same manner he did when they first met. He doesn't just simply say "do you want to go on a date?" or "do you want to get dinner?" He always begins the ask with "would you care to...?" He still calls her on Friday nights and say "would you care to go to a movie with me this evening?" Those are the exact words he used when he asked her out for the first time, which was to a movie. It's more than just "hey you wanna?" It's polite. It leaves the control in her hands. It says "What you want to do, please do. But I would enjoy it if what you want is doing this with me." Subtle, but a huge difference. Sometimes it's just the little things.
Chivalry. Integrity. Respect. In the modern dating world all this has been replaced. The crazy is unleashed. And a life of celibacy seems more and more appealing every day.
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